Love isn’t scripted.

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You’ve seen the movies, you read the magazines. You have an idea in your head of how it’s supposed to go. Maybe you have it in your mind how Mr. Right is supposed to look, or how he’s supposed to act. First he says this, then you go here, then he proposes this way, the dream wedding, a dog, 2.5 kids, a beach house. Happily ever after. Blah blah.

Maybe you are in a relationship already, but you still have it predetermined that when things happen they are supposed to happen a certain way, at a certain time, in a certain order.

What’s wrong with this…?

Perhaps nothing, perhaps a lot.

There’s a huge difference between setting goals and setting yourself up for disappointment.

With goals, you and your partner, hopefully together, can aspire for certain behaviors/performance….respect, cleanliness, thoughtfulness, romance, professional accomplishments, etc.

But if you expect to call the shots line by line, move by move, and to proceed through life in a neat and organized fashion, you’re delusional.

Life is organic. Love is organic. As much as humans have tried to break it down, understand, and define these things (see the help section at Barnes & Noble, and this blog for that matter), there’s just no way to sum them up. Relationships, built on love, are complex and crazy. Things that are complex and crazy are hard to predict and control. Expecting the progression of a relationship to follow a predetermined pattern, or scripted behavior is just naive.

Please have goals, by all means, know where you want to go, but don’t be so driven by where you expect to go and when you think you should get there that you miss the journey itself.

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