I’m Sorry, He Usually Doesn’t Act This Way

August 15, 2011 1 Comment

So you’ve been dating for a little while. The time you spend together is great. It’s easy. You really got something.

But then comes the time in every relationship… The first social gathering. The moment you introduce him your friends. Moments like this can reveal a lot about your man… and you.


It’s a party. Everyone’s there, so you start with introductions: “This is so and so”, “hey you’ve gotta meet…”

And then it begins…

Once the niceties pass, and a few drinks go down, you’ll get a real sense for how he fits into your life.

Ideally, he and your friends connect, volley some pleasant conversation, and realize they too have things in common. He recognizes how important your friends are to you, and makes the extra effort to be pleasant, sociable, and likable. In that case, the introduction to your inner circle helps to confirm that there may be a place for him there as well.

But say it doesn’t go that way.

Instead, maybe he drinks too much or talks too little. The event plays more like a chore for him, and his body language speaks to his lack of concern. He eyes up the door from the moment you arrive.

You find yourself apologizing the next day for his behavior and imploring your friends to keep an open mind, to give him another chance.

And they may…

If you like him, chances are your friends will want to like him too. There will be another opportunity. But say, those second and third gatherings swing and miss (or don’t swing at all). Say that no matter what the circumstance, your guy can’t muster the courage, interest, or enthusiasm to make this part of your life part of his.

In that case, what you have on your hands is a clear cut life choice moment:

Will you…

A. Stand by your man

Or

B. Set him straight, or send him on his way

If you pick choice A, hopefully you recognize the consequences. Understand that as your relationship with him progresses, your connection with your friends will head in the opposite direction. Every social gathering going forward will be an awkward struggle.

If you pick choice B, you are defending the value that you place on the people you care about. You are declaring the confidence you have in yourself and in your opinions.

If you picked choice B, you can do better.

RUN THAT BACK…

 

Dating, Relationships
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